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Writing & Rhetoric II

by David Sharpe, Ohio University

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Conciseness:
suggested changes

Have your own answers visible in another window, examine any differences in your own answers, and for each difference, add a comment to this document saying whether your version is more concise, less concise, or the same -- and why.  Has any of the significant meaning disappeared?  This will take only a moment ... and lets me know that you've given this your attention!

  1. Avoid Wordy Phrases.  Express each of the following in a single word that means the same:

     

  2. Delete Needless Prefaces.  Make the following concise without losing any of the meaning:

    As far as artificial intelligence is concerned, the technology is only in its infancy.  Artificial intelligence is only in its infancy.

     

  3. Clean out clutter words.  The following sentence is three times longer than it needs to be.  Rework it to express the core ideas in an efficient sentence (TIP: begin with "I seek ...").  The main 'clutter' words are in bold:

    Actually, one aspect of a business situation that could definitely make me quite happy would be to have a somewhat adventurous partner who really shared my extreme attraction to risks.

    I seek an adventurous business partner who enjoys risks.

 

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