As I zipped up my white jacket, slipped all ten fingers into my mittens, wrapped my neck with my multicolored scarf, laced up my lovingly worn brown suede boots, grabbed my Volkswagen beetle key from the hook, turned the icy cold door handle to the kitchen door, stepped out into the nippy air, enjoyed the scent of winter, shuffled down the blue-painted porch, stepped ever so carefully as to not slip on the ice, tapped the lock on the gate to loosen its icy grip, pulled it squeakily towards me, shuffled over to my white snowball of a car, caught a snowflake with my tongue as I scraped the ice and snow off my windows, shivered into the driver's seat, fought to keep my hand still enough to put the key in the ignition, was warmed by the soft words of Coldplay's "green eyes, yeah, the spotlight shines upon you," putted out of the driveway like so many times before, rolled slowly down the street positioned awkwardly to see out the windshield as I waited patiently for it to defrost, enjoyed the houses I passed, dreaming of what their insides looked like, waited at the red light, watched the cop car zoom past me in a flurry, smiled at the little kids sauntering to school bundled up like Eskimos, decided on a path that was out of my way, I enjoyed the evergreens, the maples, the oaks, and the buckeyes, the snowplows, the icicles, the memories of this road, and that brick house, where I had once discovered passion, good times with friends, true love, comfort, compassion, escape, followed by heartbreak, tears, regret, and remorse, hoping to see that familiar face peering out a window or walking down the driveway, again encompassed with loneliness, wondering why I did it to myself again, why I had to take this road and not the other, new tears falling in remembrance, fresh tears for a fresh day as I sped past the light, got off the road as fast as my car could guide me, feared my heart would explode in my chest, when my cell phone rings, hands shake as I reach to the passenger's seat (it's him) my heart now beating in nervousness, excitement, happiness, love, as I answer (hello) the words "hey baby" pouring out of this empty box, bringing me close, yet keeping me so far away.

  by Maggie Eiben