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The Dos and Don’ts of One Night Stands

By Sean Huff

In the beginning…God created man. Not long after this beginning, he created women. Unfortunately, he left out the guide for the two of them to co-exist in the same garden. Naturally, this leads to many grey areas on what constitutes love, relationships, appropriate feelings and most of all sex. But, as time has gone on, we have begun to slowly learn what is right and what is wrong through trial and error—daring to confront the ever-so-confusing opposite gender. However, it seems many questions are still raised every time that each of us enter into something new: “Will they call?” “Why haven’t they called?” “Am I not good enough for them to call?” “What is wrong with me for them not to call?!” If any of these questions seem familiar, chances are you have experienced a one-night-stand. This particular area of human behavior should have been accompanied with volumes upon volumes of references for anyone to follow. Regrettably, this is no volume, but it is a strong reference guide for anyone who has fallen victim to the unintentional or even intentional one-night-stand.

Be Upfront

Whether they are a long-standing friend, or just a cute waiter/waitress from Chucky Cheese, you must let them know where you stand. If you just want sex and nothing else, you must tell that special someone of the moment before festivities being. Thus, there will be a mutual understanding between both parties of what is expected and what to expect…so then the real party can begin.
But, if you are one of the ever so rare individuals really looking for something and someone special, do not be afraid to admit this. It seems constantly that potential relationships are lead to their own demise by poor communication. By starting off on a strong note, even sexually, it will do nothing but help in the end. If you want sex and to talk afterwards, try expressing your intentions directly. “Whatever happens tonight, I would love to see you again.” It is imperative though to assure yourself that the other party is just as interested. If they seem to be giving off a “you are a symbol of my lust” vibe…you may want to reconsider your endeavor. Either way you look at it though, it is important to be upfront and honest; hopefully avoiding any negative experiences.

Always, Always, Always…Get Their #

No matter what you want from your big soirée, it is imperative that you get their telephone number. Whether it is going to be used for calling them later or just to pick up the underwear you left at their house, your romantic chère’s number is pivotal to have in your possession. This could pose one problem…what if they don’t give you the right number? Well, do what I do. Once this attractive or potentially unattractive person gives you a number…call it. If you do not hear a tone, then it ain’t their phone! If this happens to you, do not panic. Just simply ask for their real number. If this request is followed by a befuddled, empty look on their face…leave.
That’s the thing about one-night-stands. If you are going to part take in the act, you have to be emotionally ready to do so. There are plenty of people out there waiting to jump into someone’s pants. But, if those people are not ready to give out a number to a phone that is in their pants, it’s a code blue…As in I blue so fast out of their dorm room they couldn’t blink.

But I was Drunk…

Being in college there are many realities young students must face. Academic probation is just around the corner, stomach aches from dining hall food, and the constant question of “what the hell did I do last night?” Perhaps you have been in a situation where you wake up, look around, and suddenly realize you are not in Kansas anymore. Then, your notice your red slippers are thrown on a chair that you have never seen before. But, of course that is all before you look the other direction. That’s when you can’t help but notice the person lying next to you resembling Toto. The first step is not to panic. Try to recollect anything that you can from the previous evening, especially the parts that took place in this strange room. That is priority number one, find out what happened between the two of you. It does not matter how nasty these acts may have been, the important thing is that you do not catch anything nasty.

Protect Yourself

Yes, I know, this is not high school health class, but this is the reality of the matter. Always keep a condom on you—girls and guys. Even if you do not plan on using them, they are a great thing to have. Friends and acquaintances often forget to grab some themselves, so in many cases you could avert a disaster. But, if you do plan upon using them, actually do it! And remember the one rule I tell to all my friends…THE PILL IS NOT PROTECTION. Though it may protect you from pregnancy, every STD in the book will find its way to your special parts. So wrap it up, especially with one-night-stands. Because if they are performing these “one-nighters” with you…chances are they have done this in the past as well.

Be Polite

The most important point of this entire article is this…always be polite. One-night-stands are always tricky and can turn ugly fast. It is important to keep a level head and always be respectful and courteous. Anything sexual can potentially be scary and heartbreaking. Even if you are feeling completely comfortable with the situation, make sure that the other member of this adventure is comfortable as well. Just wanting a sexual encounter does not mean you are entitled to treat someone like an object or degrade them for wanting the same. If you are truly upfront and explain what you want before hand, there should be no confusion. But if you continually change your tune of what you want, you will undoubtedly hit a fowl note. So to avoid disaster, just follow the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Very simple, very straight forward, it’s just how you should be when attempting to have an exciting evening.

So, hopefully this helps everyone fend for themselves in the garden that sometimes we feel unprepared for. Confusion with feelings is very difficult to deal with in situations like these. Feelings seem to mix together. And if they’re not properly tended to, like colors they can begin to mix together to create that grayish hue that we have come to dread. But with these few guidelines, hopefully you can begin to sort these feelings out in a direct manner, which protects both your integrity and your piece of mind. One-night-stands do not have to be a mess of colors ending in gray, it can be a sunset, a rainbow, or even a beautiful garden.