We've all been there- staring utter humiliation in the face - unable to move, blink, or even breathe, while those surrounding us have no problem engaging in what seems to be gut-wrenching laughter. We know that if we simply laugh along, and play it off as a simple mistake we’d be in the clear, but for some reason, it’s just never that easy. So, we stand, sit, lie, or stay in whatever position we happened to be in when the mishap occurred, and wait for the sideshow to end. Well, wait no longer, because POISE is here to pick you up, dust you off, and help you hold your head high. No POISEd individual should ever have to succumb to ridicule, even if they did accidentally snort milk out his or her nose! Read along to find out why we let ourselves fluster up and what you can do to make any situation POISEd.

Take a lesson from the kiddies

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Way down – oh, say, kindergarten. Remember when little Johnny (gasp) farted, and the whole class, including little Johnny, erupted in laughter? Or when little Susie (bigger gasp) showed the playground her Care-Bear panties while playing on the swings? They didn’t think twice about the social consequences. So, why is it that young children rarely feel embarrassed and we, as young adults, are so prone to it? Well, according to Ray Cozier, author of Shyness and Embarrassment: Perspectives of Social Psychology, “college-age people are highly sensitive to the social significance of their conduct and are motivated to create desired identities in interpersonal encounters." Cozier suggests that it’s easier for youngsters to show their emotions without feeling socially humiliated (hell, they don’t know what socially humiliated is), while we’re taught as we grow older that we have certain roles to play and people to impress, which makes us become more and more self-conscious. Rowland S. Miller, author of Embarrassment: Poise and Peril in Everyday Life, agrees, "The possibility of being embarrassed seems to dictate and constrain a great deal of social behavior; much of what we do and perhaps more important, what we don’t do is based on our desire to avoid embarrassment." Basically, once we were old enough to understand that other people are observing our actions, we start modifying them according to who we believe is watching. We begin developing what’s called front and backstage behavior in order to correctly perform socially, which in turn causes us to conceal our true feelings, and hide our emotions, becoming more susceptible to embarrassment.

Sure Signs of Humiliation

All people are different, meaning their reactions to embarrassing situations are different as well. While some people blush, usually a slight pink or redish color splotching from the scalp to the neck, others react with a nervous laugh, a hesitant smile, or even avoidance of eye contact. Although, self - doubt is always the biggest giveaway.

Me, embarrassed?

Nah. Being consistent and confident with your true character will help avoid almost any undesirable dilemma. Both are traits that require POISE, causing you to practice POISEd behavior in everyday life, especially when you find yourself in an unappealing predicament. Studies have shown that people who carry a sense of self-worth find situations almost 50% less embarrassing than people who are unsure of themselves. Interpretation: a confidant chicka has more important things on her mind (like that hottie at the bar) than the snag in her leggings. So, if you want to salvage your dignity, whatever the situation, be confident and embrace the inner you.

Honey, it's inevitable!

Okay, so maybe you took our advice, or knew it already, but still found yourself in a state of utter shame. Don't worry about, baby! Sometimes these things are simply unavoidable. Look at it this way: embarrassing events help build character, so the more embarrassment you experience will in turn help you to prepare for future frustration - not to mention it helps you become more polite, and respectful of others. “When you personally experience something traumatic [whether it be TP on your pumps, or a Costume Malfunction] it helps you empathize with others who have been in a similar situation,” says Miller. “Everyone has embarrassing moments; reminding yourself that your audience knows how it feels to be the butt of someone else's joke will help you deal with your own mortification in a realistic, classy matter.”

Cleanup, Aisle 20!

So what can you do, when the inevitable happens? Well, disaster control is different for each dilemma, though confidence and a positive attitude will 99.9% of the time ease you through, unscathed.
When dealing with a menial mishap, Miller suggests playing it off as if it didn't happen. “The embarrassed person quickly regains his or her poise and the interaction continues largely unabated." Humor is another viable option after any incident (as long as no one is hurt, of course). Using humor makes you appear unafraid of facing an embarrassing situation again. Jokes ease the tension and help you and your audience laugh through the moment. Although jokes require more thought than simply ignoring the fact an embarrassing moment happened, a joke leaves a positive impression with other people. One reaction you want to avoid at all costs, however, is aggression. Though anger usually only occurs after being teased or provoked, dealing with an aggressive response will always make you appear un-POISEd. Anger only makes the situation worse, for you and the audience, and it leaves others with a bad impression.

Do you have an embarrassing moment POISE readers can relate to? We want to hear what happened and how you handled it! Send your shocking stories, along with your name, major, year, and residence, to POISEfashion@ohio.edu, subject “My Mortification.”