Reasons to Fence

Fencing is the greatest sport ever.  It is more important than anything else in your life right now.  Fate has brought you to this website and you must accept your path.  Become a warrior of righteous fury—a personified instrument of elegance, love, and death.  If you join, you will learn to dodge bullets, read minds, and simply take what you want from life.  Read more!

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Why Fencing?

Levitation is only one of the skills you will master in fencing.

Alternatively, you can pass on this opportunity.  But you’ll always wonder, “What if?  What if I was a fencing champion?  What would my life be like?” 

Well, I’ll tell you: 30 years from now, you will reach the pinnacle of success for whatever lifestyle you choose, and you’ll meet someone comparable in status to you.  This person will bring out a dueling sword, point it at you, and say, “I’m going to fight you with this antiquated weapon, because I’m sure you don’t know how to use it.” 

He’ll be right.  And you will lose everything and everyone you care about because you didn’t learn how to fence in college.

“If only I had learned

to fence…”

~ possible future self