Not many people can make it through their professional career without dealing with at least a few people they would label as "difficult." There's the "complainer," the "rambler" or the "know-it-all," to name a few.

So what is the most effective way to handle these folks? For the answer to this question, we turned to Patrick Donadio.

Donadio, BSC '80 and MBA '81, is a business coach and professional speaker who works in Columbus. Donadio has earned the certified speaking professional designation, the highest earned designation awarded by the National Speakers Association, and has been working with business professionals since 1986.

Donadio says there are some common mistakes professionals make when dealing with difficult people, and a few simple actions can ease the situation.

The first step is to identify what type of person you're working with and the rationale behind their actions. Understand that you might need to communicate differently with various types of people, he says. The quiet person, for example, might need some advance warning about your meeting and some prompting in order to share ideas. The complainer wants some assurance that his or her voice will be heard and that you'll actually take some action in response.

Here are some tips to help you deal with the many distinct people you encounter:

• Establish some boundaries for yourself. Know what you are going to be able to put up with. Sometimes you might want to communicate those boundaries; sometimes you may not.
• If you're dealing with a difficult issue, speak with the person in private. Remember the adage: Praise in public, criticize in private.
• Use more "I" language than "you" language, which can a make person become defensive. Instead of saying "you should" or "you must," try "I was expecting" or "I encourage you to ¡¦ ."
• Don't take things personally. "It's hard not to, but it's not necessarily about you," Donadio says. "You need to separate yourself from the issue." He says people often don't realize the reason their co-worker is upset doesn't have anything to do with them.
• See if you can find any agreement at all, or at least acknowledge that you understand the person's perspective. Say, "I can see your point." In a worst-case scenario, agree to disagree: "Evidently we both have different opinions on this, and that's OK."
• Tell the person what you can do, not what you can't do, about their request or complaint.
• Rehearse if you need to before communicating a difficult message.
• Keep your cool. If one or both parties start to get upset, suggest resuming the conversation in 20 minutes after you calm down and collect your thoughts.
• Keep the lines of communication open. "Remember that 70 to 90 percent of the message is screened by the receiver," Donadio says. For example, if you tell a co-worker you want to meet biweekly, he or she might interpret that to be either twice a week or every other week. "Ask questions, listen, repeat the problem, restate or rephrase your message," Donadio recommends. "Check for understanding to make sure the message that you sent is the same message the person received."

For more professional advice and information about leadership and improving communications, visit www.patrickdonadio.com.

Joan Slattery Wall is assistant editor of Ohio Today. Mike Gennaria, MS '03, is a former Ohio Today Online graduate student writer.