Color Rainbow
  • LGBT Center staff at holigay party

  • OU Homecoming Parade

  • OU Homecoming Parade

  • Georgiann Davis speaks on Intersexuality

  • Daniel Hernandez visits OU

  • LGBT Tailgate Fall 2013

  • lgbt center staff

    lgbt center staff

  • National Coming Out Day

  • National Coming Out Day

  • National Coming Out Day

  • National Coming Out Day

  • awesome students!

  • Georgiann Davis speaks on Intersexuality

  • National Coming Out Day

Ally Information  

SafeZone Project

Challenge Heterosexism on Campus

Commonly Asked Ally Questions

Allies Value All Diversity

 

Challenge Heterosexism on Campus: Take Action!

Educate Yourself

  • Read LGBT literature and history.
  • Read newspapers or journals that feature LGBT news/issues.
  • Go through a whole day imagining yourself to be LGBT and see what campus is like.
  • Attend LGBT speakers, films, workshops, and cultural events.
  • Attend a meeting of one of the LGTBA groups on campus
  • Listen to and learn from LGBT people.


 

Model Non-Heterosexist or Homophobic Behavior and Attitudes

 

  • Take pride in your same-sex friendships.
  • Use inclusive language like “partner” or “date” rather than “boyfriend/girlfriend” or “wife/husband.”
  • Make friends with and get close to LGBT people.
  • Show affection for people of all genders in public.
  • Don’t make assumptions about others’ sexual orientation.
  • Don’t assume that being LGBT is just about being sexual.
  • Don’t assume LGBT people don’t have, like, or want children.
  • Keep information you have about others’ sexual orientation confidential.


 

Create an Inclusive Culture and a Welcoming Environment

 

  • Assume that people in your residence hall, classes, groups, office, campus could be LGB or T.
  • Assume that closeted LGBT people in your residence hall, classes, groups, office, campus are wondering how safe the environment is for them; provide safety by making it clear you accept and support them.
  • Put up bulletin board displays that include same-sex couples or references to LGBT lives, interests or concerns.
  • Post flyers announcing events of interest to LGBT people.
  • Remember there is a heterosexual assumption; actively advertise that LGBT people are welcome, especially at parties and dances.
  • Find out about and share resources and information on LGBT-affirmative service providers, events, bookstores, bars, etc.
  • Say the words lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender out loud; refer to the potential LGBT people in your residence hall, classes, groups, office, or campus.



Educate Others

 

  • Sponsor a workshop on homophobia
  • Sponsor a gay, lesbian, bisexual speaker bureau program
  • Sponsor lesbian, gay, or bisexual theme films like Pink Triangles, Times of Harvey Milk, Before Stonewall, Personal Best, Parting Glances, Desert Hearts, etc.
  • Subscribe to gay, lesbian, and bisexual publications or news services
  • Set up bulletin board displays on gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues/culture/people
  • Have informal discussions with people in your residence hall, classes, offices, groups, and elsewhere on campus
  • Offer alternatives, accurate information, etc., when you hear homophobic stereotypes or myths
  • Write articles for campus paper on gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues; write letters to the editor raising issues


 

Confront Overt Incidents

 

  • Interrupt heterosexist jokes, slurs, comments, or assumptions
  • Actively react to anonymous anti-gay graffiti
  • Get support for yourself when confronting incidents
  • Make clear to all who are involved both relevant policies and your own feelings
  • Provide support to the victim/target of the attack
  • Critically review local media for heterosexual bias and call/write editors with complaints/suggestions


 

Take a Public Stand

 

  • Wear a button such as “I support gay rights” or “How dare you presume I’m heterosexual”
  • Attend a rally or march supporting gay, lesbian, and bisexual people
  • Write a letter to the school paper
  • Sign a petition supporting gay rights
  • Promote gay, lesbian, and bisexual non-discrimination policies and domestic partnership benefits
  • Campaign to pass a federal gay rights bill
  • Join an organization that promotes gay rights
  • Form a support/activist group for heterosexual allies
  • Organize to get more resources on campus such as: a program for GLB Concerns, lesbian and gay studies courses/program, pro-lesbian/gay counselors, gay, lesbian and bisexual speakers, cultural events, gay, lesbian, and bisexual books and films in the library, etc.


 

~Edited from Diversity Works, Amherst, MA

 

Answers to Commonly Asked Ally Questions


How can I tell if someone I know is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?
Ultimately, the only way to tell if a person is LGB or T is if that person tells you so. Many LGBT people don't fit the common stereotypes, and many people who fit the stereotypes are not LGBT. Assumptions on your part can be misguided. The important thing to remember is that it is very likely that someone you interact with on campus is LGBT and you should be sensitive to that fact.

What should I do if I think someone is LGBT but they haven't told me?
Again, remember that assumptions on your part may be inaccurate. The best approach is to create an atmosphere where that individual can feel comfortable coming out to you. You can do this by making sure that you are open and approachable and by giving indications that you are comfortable with this topic and are supportive of LGBT concerns. If the person is already out to themselves, and they feel that you are worthy of their trust, then they may tell you. If the person seems to be in conflict about something, it may or may not be because of their sexuality. In this case, it is best simply to make sure that they know you are there if they need to talk. Remember, they may not have told you because they don't want you to know.

How do I make myself more approachable to people who are LGBT?
Demonstrate that you are comfortable with topics related to sexual orientation and that you are supportive of LGBT concerns. Be sensitive to the assumptions you make about people-try not to assume that everyone you interact with is heterosexual, that they have a partner of a different gender, etc. try to use inclusive language, such as by avoiding the use of pronouns that assume the gender of someone's partner or friends. Be a role model by confronting others who make homophobic jokes or remarks. Become knowledgeable about LGBT concerns by reading books and attending meetings and activities sponsored by LGBT organizations.

What kinds of things might a person who is LGBT go through when coming out?
Because of the difficulty of growing up in a largely homophobic society, people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender may experience guilt, isolation, depression, suicidal feelings, and low self-esteem. As LGBT people become more in touch with their sexual orientation, they may experience any number of these thoughts and feelings to some degree. On the positive side, coming out can be an extremely liberating experience, as LGBT people learn who they are, gain respect for themselves, and find friends to relate to. Coming out to others can be an anxious process, as the individual worries about rejection, ridicule, and the possible loss of family, friends, ad employment. For students, college life is already stress filled and adding the process of grappling with one’s sexual identity to that mix can be overwhelming.

How can I help if someone wants advice on what to tell their roommate, friends, or family about being LGBT?
Remember that the individual must decide for themselves when and to whom they will reveal their sexual identity. Don't tell someone to take any particular action; the person could hold you responsible if it doesn't go well. Do listen carefully, reflect on the concerns and feelings you hear expressed, and suggest available resources for support. Help the person think through the possible outcomes of coming out. Support the person's decision even if you don't agree with it, and ask about the outcomes of any action taken.

What do I do if someone who is LGBT wants to come out in my office, on my residence hall floor, or within the context of any other group I am part of?
Again, help the individual think through the possible outcomes. Discuss how others might react and how the person might respond to those reactions. Mention the option of coming out to a few people at a time, as opposed to the entire group. If someone has decided to come out, let them know you will support them.

How should I respond to heterosexual friends or coworkers who feel negatively about a person who is LGBT in our office, on our residence hall floor, or in any group that I am part of?
When such problems arise, it is most useful to discuss this with the people involved. Help them to see that they are talking about a person, not just a sexual orientation. Make sure that you have accurate information so that you may appropriately discuss the myths and stereotypes that often underlie such negative reactions. Note the similarities between LGBT people and heterosexual people. Be clear with others that while they have a right to their own beliefs and opinions, you will not tolerate anti-gay comments or discrimination. Remember that others may take their cues form you-if you are uncomfortable with, hostile to, or ignore someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, others may follow suit. Conversely, if you are friendly with the person and treat them with respect, others may follow suit.

What should I say to someone who is afraid of contracting HIV/AIDS from LGBT people?
HIV is not transmitted through ordinary social contact. It is necessary for everyone to be knowledgeable about HIV and AIDS. If a friend or coworker is afraid and uninformed, use this as an educational opportunity. Hudson Health Center and the Athens AIDS Task Force can provide you with pamphlets and other resources containing current and accurate information.

How can I support LGBT people without my own sexual orientation becoming an issue?
Be aware that if you speak out about issues related to sexual orientation, some people may take this as an indication of your own sexual orientation. Take time in advance to think through how you might respond to this. How do you feel about your own sexual identity? Are you comfortable with yourself? Regardless of your sexual orientation, a confidence in your own self-image will make you less vulnerable.

How should I respond to rumors that someone is LGBT?
Let others know that the sexual orientation of any individual is irrelevant unless that person wishes to disclose that information. If you can, address any myths or stereotypes that may be fueling such speculation. If a particular person continues to spread rumors, talk to that person individually.

How can I get others to be more open-minded about LGBT people?
In brief, be a role model for others by being open and visible in your support. Share your beliefs with others when appropriate. When LGBT topics come up, talk about them, don't simply avoid them. Show that you are comfortable talking about these issues, and comfortable with LGBT people. Remember that part of your goal as an ally is to create bridges across differences and to increase understanding. While you may be motivated to share your views with others, be careful of being self-righteous; others can not learn from you if they are turned off from listening to begin with. Of course, your views are more convincing if they are supported by sound knowledge. Take the time to educate yourself so that you know what you are talking about.

How can I respond when someone tells a homophobic joke?
Many people believe that jokes are harmless and get upset by what they perceive as the "politically correct" attitudes of those who are offended by inappropriate humor. Labeling a belief as "politically correct" is a subtle way of supporting the status quo and resisting change. Most people who tell jokes about an oppressed group have never thought about how those jokes perpetuate stereotypes or how they teach and reinforce prejudice. Someone who tells jokes about LGBT people probably assumes that everyone present is heterosexual, or at least that everyone shares their negative attitudes toward LGBT people. However, most people do not tell jokes to purposefully hurt or embarrass others, and will stop if they realize this is the effect. Responding assertively in these situations is difficult but not responding at all sends a silent message of agreement. No response is the equivalent of condoning the telling of such jokes. It is important to remember that young people, particularly those questioning their own sexual identity, will watch to see who laughs at such jokes, and may internalize the hurtful message. In some instances, the inappropriateness of the joke could be mentioned at the time. In other situations, the person could be taken aside afterward. Try to communicate your concerns about the joke with respect.

How can I respond to homophobic attitudes?
If you disagree with a negative statement that someone makes about LGBT people, the assertive thing to do is to say so. Again, silence communicates agreement. Remember what your goal is in responding: not to start an argument or foster hostility, but to attempt to increase understanding. Disagreement can be civil and respectful. Share your views without accusing or criticizing. You are simply presenting another way of thinking about the topic. It can be difficult to speak out in support of LGBT people. You might be afraid that others will question your sexual orientation, morals, and values, or that you will be ostracized. It is easy to forget that there might be positive effects of your outspokenness as well.

How can I respond to people who object to LGBT people for religious reasons?
Usually, there is no way to change the minds of individuals who base their negative beliefs about LGBT people on strict religious convictions. However, while respecting their right to believe as they wish, you can share some information with them. It can be useful to point out that identifying as Christian is not necessarily incompatible with being supportive of LGBT people. There is a great deal of diversity among the Christian community with regard to beliefs about same gender sexuality. In addition, there is much disagreement about the biblical basis for condemning LGBT people. Many religious scholars argue that the biblical passages which are said to refer to same gender sexuality have been misinterpreted. It is also important to point out that while individuals are entitled to their personal religious beliefs, these opinions should not be used to deny LGBT people equal treatment under the law.

Edited from the Northern Illinois University Safe Zone Program.

 


ALLIES VALUE ALL DIVERSITY:


Building a campus climate that welcomes diversity can change and enrich your life. Think seriously about the following possibilities:

 

  • Examine and come to terms with your own personal prejudices.

 

  • Take responsibility for addressing discrimination and biases you encounter on campus.

 

  • Know your college’s policies and disciplinary process concerning bias and discriminatory incidents. Take action by reporting such incidents to university officials.

 

  • Get involved in activities and events sponsored by different groups.

 

  • As part of your educational experience, enroll in a semester-long cultural diversity course or workshop, or a course about a culture different than yours.

 

  • Volunteer to work in a community agency that offers services to a particular racial, religious, or ethnic group.

 

  • Make a sincere effort to establish a meaningful relationship with a student of a different ethnicity or cultural background.

 

  • Don’t be afraid to discuss with a college counselor or an administrator your feelings about people who are different from you.

 

  • Learn to overcome the tendency to stereotype members of various ethnic or cultural groups, and instead, try to develop a sensitivity to their feelings and experiences.
  • With other members of your ethnic or religious group, organize programs to educate the campus community about your culture. With your group, work in coalition with other groups on issues and activities of mutual concern and interest.

Answers to Commonly Asked Ally Questions


How can I tell if someone I know is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?
Ultimately, the only way to tell if a person is LGB or T is if that person tells you so. Many LGBT people don't fit the common stereotypes, and many people who fit the stereotypes are not LGBT. Assumptions on your part can be misguided. The important thing to remember is that it is very likely that someone you interact with on campus is LGBT and you should be sensitive to that fact.

What should I do if I think someone is LGBT but they haven't told me?
Again, remember that assumptions on your part may be inaccurate. The best approach is to create an atmosphere where that individual can feel comfortable coming out to you. You can do this by making sure that you are open and approachable and by giving indications that you are comfortable with this topic and are supportive of LGBT concerns. If the person is already out to themselves, and they feel that you are worthy of their trust, then they may tell you. If the person seems to be in conflict about something, it may or may not be because of their sexuality. In this case, it is best simply to make sure that they know you are there if they need to talk. Remember, they may not have told you because they don't want you to know.

How do I make myself more approachable to people who are LGBT?
Demonstrate that you are comfortable with topics related to sexual orientation and that you are supportive of LGBT concerns. Be sensitive to the assumptions you make about people-try not to assume that everyone you interact with is heterosexual, that they have a partner of a different gender, etc. try to use inclusive language, such as by avoiding the use of pronouns that assume the gender of someone's partner or friends. Be a role model by confronting others who make homophobic jokes or remarks. Become knowledgeable about LGBT concerns by reading books and attending meetings and activities sponsored by LGBT organizations.

What kinds of things might a person who is LGBT go through when coming out?
Because of the difficulty of growing up in a largely homophobic society, people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender may experience guilt, isolation, depression, suicidal feelings, and low self-esteem. As LGBT people become more in touch with their sexual orientation, they may experience any number of these thoughts and feelings to some degree. On the positive side, coming out can be an extremely liberating experience, as LGBT people learn who they are, gain respect for themselves, and find friends to relate to. Coming out to others can be an anxious process, as the individual worries about rejection, ridicule, and the possible loss of family, friends, ad employment. For students, college life is already stress filled and adding the process of grappling with one’s sexual identity to that mix can be overwhelming.

How can I help if someone wants advice on what to tell their roommate, friends, or family about being LGBT?
Remember that the individual must decide for themselves when and to whom they will reveal their sexual identity. Don't tell someone to take any particular action; the person could hold you responsible if it doesn't go well. Do listen carefully, reflect on the concerns and feelings you hear expressed, and suggest available resources for support. Help the person think through the possible outcomes of coming out. Support the person's decision even if you don't agree with it, and ask about the outcomes of any action taken.

What do I do if someone who is LGBT wants to come out in my office, on my residence hall floor, or within the context of any other group I am part of?
Again, help the individual think through the possible outcomes. Discuss how others might react and how the person might respond to those reactions. Mention the option of coming out to a few people at a time, as opposed to the entire group. If someone has decided to come out, let them know you will support them.

How should I respond to heterosexual friends or coworkers who feel negatively about a person who is LGBT in our office, on our residence hall floor, or in any group that I am part of?
When such problems arise, it is most useful to discuss this with the people involved. Help them to see that they are talking about a person, not just a sexual orientation. Make sure that you have accurate information so that you may appropriately discuss the myths and stereotypes that often underlie such negative reactions. Note the similarities between LGBT people and heterosexual people. Be clear with others that while they have a right to their own beliefs and opinions, you will not tolerate anti-gay comments or discrimination. Remember that others may take their cues form you-if you are uncomfortable with, hostile to, or ignore someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, others may follow suit. Conversely, if you are friendly with the person and treat them with respect, others may follow suit.

What should I say to someone who is afraid of contracting HIV/AIDS from LGBT people?
HIV is not transmitted through ordinary social contact. It is necessary for everyone to be knowledgeable about HIV and AIDS. If a friend or coworker is afraid and uninformed, use this as an educational opportunity. Hudson Health Center and the Athens AIDS Task Force can provide you with pamphlets and other resources containing current and accurate information.

How can I support LGBT people without my own sexual orientation becoming an issue?
Be aware that if you speak out about issues related to sexual orientation, some people may take this as an indication of your own sexual orientation. Take time in advance to think through how you might respond to this. How do you feel about your own sexual identity? Are you comfortable with yourself? Regardless of your sexual orientation, a confidence in your own self-image will make you less vulnerable.

How should I respond to rumors that someone is LGBT?
Let others know that the sexual orientation of any individual is irrelevant unless that person wishes to disclose that information. If you can, address any myths or stereotypes that may be fueling such speculation. If a particular person continues to spread rumors, talk to that person individually.

How can I get others to be more open-minded about LGBT people?
In brief, be a role model for others by being open and visible in your support. Share your beliefs with others when appropriate. When LGBT topics come up, talk about them, don't simply avoid them. Show that you are comfortable talking about these issues, and comfortable with LGBT people. Remember that part of your goal as an ally is to create bridges across differences and to increase understanding. While you may be motivated to share your views with others, be careful of being self-righteous; others can not learn from you if they are turned off from listening to begin with. Of course, your views are more convincing if they are supported by sound knowledge. Take the time to educate yourself so that you know what you are talking about.

How can I respond when someone tells a homophobic joke?
Many people believe that jokes are harmless and get upset by what they perceive as the "politically correct" attitudes of those who are offended by inappropriate humor. Labeling a belief as "politically correct" is a subtle way of supporting the status quo and resisting change. Most people who tell jokes about an oppressed group have never thought about how those jokes perpetuate stereotypes or how they teach and reinforce prejudice. Someone who tells jokes about LGBT people probably assumes that everyone present is heterosexual, or at least that everyone shares their negative attitudes toward LGBT people. However, most people do not tell jokes to purposefully hurt or embarrass others, and will stop if they realize this is the effect. Responding assertively in these situations is difficult but not responding at all sends a silent message of agreement. No response is the equivalent of condoning the telling of such jokes. It is important to remember that young people, particularly those questioning their own sexual identity, will watch to see who laughs at such jokes, and may internalize the hurtful message. In some instances, the inappropriateness of the joke could be mentioned at the time. In other situations, the person could be taken aside afterward. Try to communicate your concerns about the joke with respect.

How can I respond to homophobic attitudes?
If you disagree with a negative statement that someone makes about LGBT people, the assertive thing to do is to say so. Again, silence communicates agreement. Remember what your goal is in responding: not to start an argument or foster hostility, but to attempt to increase understanding. Disagreement can be civil and respectful. Share your views without accusing or criticizing. You are simply presenting another way of thinking about the topic. It can be difficult to speak out in support of LGBT people. You might be afraid that others will question your sexual orientation, morals, and values, or that you will be ostracized. It is easy to forget that there might be positive effects of your outspokenness as well.

How can I respond to people who object to LGBT people for religious reasons?
Usually, there is no way to change the minds of individuals who base their negative beliefs about LGBT people on strict religious convictions. However, while respecting their right to believe as they wish, you can share some information with them. It can be useful to point out that identifying as Christian is not necessarily incompatible with being supportive of LGBT people. There is a great deal of diversity among the Christian community with regard to beliefs about same gender sexuality. In addition, there is much disagreement about the biblical basis for condemning LGBT people. Many religious scholars argue that the biblical passages which are said to refer to same gender sexuality have been misinterpreted. It is also important to point out that while individuals are entitled to their personal religious beliefs, these opinions should not be used to deny LGBT people equal treatment under the law.

Edited from the Northern Illinois University Safe Zone Program.