Ohio University

Jess Beckholt, Non-Binary 

Sophomore, English and Women’s & Gender Studies

INVOLVEMENTS AT OU:

Ally, Safezone, SpeakOUT!, Asterisk (Athens Area Trans* Advocates) and Atkinson Complex Hall Council

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE OUT?:

I think it's important to address that being out isn't the end-all-be-all of queer and trans* existence.  Coming out is often presented as something everyone has to do to be happy but for some it isn't necessary, or it just may not be a realistic possibility. Coming out is a big step, it's a privilege and it's a challenge and if someone elects not to come out for the time being or long term then that should never be shamed or looked down upon.

That said I am personally a very out person, I'm out as queer to everyone in my life but am still coming out as non-binary, eventually I’d love to be totally open about my gender identity.  For me being out has been a really great experience, this is because I don't have to hide anything about who I am, what I do, what matters to me, how I love, or how I live.  It makes me happy to just talk freely about my identities, to not have to hide my gender or my romantic and sexual orientations.  Beyond the purely personal I also love being out because it lets people who might be questioning, confused or closeted know there is someone similar to them.  Since coming out as queer in my freshman year of high school, I've had many people come to me for support, advice and just a listening ear. This has been an incredible part of my life and one of the things I'm proudest of I'm happy I've gotten to be a friend and a role model.  It's also been great being out because I get to help educate people about my communities and issues pertaining to them. I get to help people to be more understanding and also to teach them about specific issues they might not have learned about otherwise.  All in all being out has been a great choice for me and I’ve loved just being there for people to talk to and learn with.

WHY ARE YOU PROUD?:

I am just proud to be. I'm proud to be different and to fight heteronormativity and cissupremecy just by existing.  I'm proud of being able to educate people, to talk to people and spread awareness and compassion and I'm proud of helping out my community and giving back through whatever channels I can.  Being queer and trans* is awesome and I wouldn't be any other way.

I want to be a part of The Faces of Pride posters and website for many reasons but the biggest is because I want to be visible as non-binary. Non-binary gender identities are talked about so little and few people know we exist; we are also often devalued and ignored even within the LGBT+ community.  I want people to see me and know people like me exist; I want them to go out and find more information on non-binary identities and get educated.  I especially want anyone on campus who is non-binary or questioning to see that there are other people similar to them and we can be out and proud.

WHAT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART ABOUT COMING OUT?:

As I'm slowly coming out as trans* it's hardest to try to explain an identity many people have little to no knowledge of.  I identify as genderqueer and non-binary, meaning for me that I'm neither a man nor a woman; my gender is outside these binary options.  This is a whole new concept to many and I've met more than a few people, who don't understand, don't believe me or just discard what I try to tell them.  It's been painful at times, and it is scary to put myself out there, but I have to believe it's worth it and I do.  That's why I seek to educate and talk to people so much to try to help people learn that people like me exist and that we matter that we're human.         If you want to come out and you feel ready, my biggest piece of advice is to have faith in yourself and don't let other people tell you who to be.This is something that is easier said than done of course but having pride in yourself and knowing you're great just the way you are helps a lot.  If anyone tries to bring you down or shame you just remember that you are always a person of worth, your identity and experiences are legitimate and no one else's bigotry can define you.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS WHO COME OUT?:

As I'm slowly coming out as trans* it's hardest to try to explain an identity many people have little to no knowledge of.  I identify as genderqueer and non-binary, meaning for me that I'm neither a man nor a woman; my gender is outside these binary options.  This is a whole new concept to many and I've met more than a few people, who don't understand, don't believe me or just discard what I try to tell them.  It's been painful at times, and it is scary to put myself out there, but I have to believe it's worth it and I do.  That's why I seek to educate and talk to people so much to try to help people learn that people like me exist and that we matter that we're human.         If you want to come out and you feel ready, my biggest piece of advice is to have faith in yourself and don't let other people tell you who to be.  This is something that is easier said than done of course but having pride in yourself and knowing you're great just the way you are helps a lot.  If anyone tries to bring you down or shame you just remember that you are always a person of worth, your identity and experiences are legitimate and no one else's bigotry can define you.

THOUGHTS FOR NON-LGBT PEOPLE ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE AND CONCERNS:

To allies I would say just to listen to us, you don't know more about us than we do and through respectful listening and dialogue a lot can be learned.  And even if you feel you're the most seasoned ally remember that if someone in the community calls you out on oppressive behavior accept it and listen.  Remember that standing in solidarity with an oppressed group of people is an action, not an identity and that ally ought to be a verb, not a noun; live it every day.  Most importantly know that people of all romantic and sexual orientations and gender identities and expressions are human beings who deserve love and respect.