John A.D. Frederick, Gay  Freshman, Media Arts and Studies: Digital Media / Political Science: Public Administration
INVOLVEMENTS AT OU:
Open Doors, OUSiggraph
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE OUT?
It is important to be out because it allows you to create stronger and more fulfilling relationships that are based off of honesty and trust. It also sets an example for those still in the closet, letting them know that they are not alone. For me it's important to help the heterosexual population realize that we're an integral part of society which is here to stay, and that we deserve the same rights as they have, in all aspects of our lives.
WHY ARE YOU “PROUD”? WHAT ARE YOU MOST “PROUD” OF?
I am proud because I have affirmed who I really am, one aspect of that being Gay, and that I am being true to myself, no matter what others might think. I am also proud that we as a community are standing up for ourselves and not playing dead when it comes to our civil rights.
WHAT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART OF COMING OUT?
The most difficult part of my coming out was fighting my conservative upbringing. Between my parents and Boy Scouts, I was instilled with a less than tolerant set of values and I didn't feel comfortable with myself. Coming to OU helped me realize that there is nothing wrong with me and that God made me this way.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS WHO COME OUT?
I would say that you need to think it through thoroughly and take the necessary precautions before coming out. That includes coming out in steps and setting up a safety net of support and money to fall back on if relatives are intolerant and don't understand. Coming out is a lifetime process and there is no one right way to do it.
THOUGHTS FOR NON-LGBT PEOPLE ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE AND CONCERNS:
Non-LGBT people need to realize that coming out is extremely difficult for those still in the closet. It means that they are making themselves vulnerable to the whole world and there is much you can do to hurt that. If someone comes out to you, try to be understanding. Don't for any reason interrogate them about being Gay, or try to convince them it is just a phase, because this will just make them hurt and confused. What they need is support and understanding. If you give them that they'll be forever grateful.
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