 Sharon A. Denham, Lesbian
Professor, School of Nursing
INVOLVEMENTS AT OU:
I have been a strong advocate for rural health issues for many years and am especially concerned about health issues as they pertain to those residing in the Appalachian region of the nation. I am a Professor in the School of Nursing and have extensive interest in family and community health.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE OUT?
I think it is important to realize that sexual orientation is not a single life dimension that totally describes who you are as a person. Sexuality is part of a life rubric expressed throughout one's life in as many different ways as other personal characteristics and behaviors. Sexual orientation is a dimension of life and not the whole of life. It is vital that people appreciate that when people are unilaterally defined, valued, or understood as 'in' or 'out,' they reject the complex essence that comprises all people.
WHY ARE YOU “PROUD”? WHAT ARE YOU MOST “PROUD” OF?
I am 'PROUD' that I have lived long enough to see homosexuality better understood and expressed than it was in my youth. I am 'PROUD' that people much braver than I have fought to remove the negative psychiatric diagnosis that once epitomized the thinking of the general public. I am 'PROUD' that I live in an age when I can be part of the swelling population that distinguishes that all citizens have rights and should not be judged solely on race, ethnicity, gender, age, ability, or sexual orientation.
WHAT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART OF COMING OUT?
Coming 'out' has been a life challenge. After two failed marriages and continually wrestling with attempts to conform and meet societal expectations, I finally decided that it was time to be courageous enough to wholly face who I am. Overcoming social stigma that says ‘dare not be different’ has been one of the most challenging aspects of my life. As an introvert, I prefer to not call undue attention to myself. However, I am thankful that I finally gained confidence over the emotional misery that restrained me for most of my life. Daring to be who I am continues to be an ongoing challenge. Coming 'out' is not something you do once and it is then over. It happens anew every time a new life situation occurs and assumptions are made by others about who I am. Unless I take to wearing a tag around my neck, I imagine that the process of coming 'out' will continue.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS WHO COME OUT?
I think it is important for those who find the boldness to be 'out' to remember that the plight of others is determined by the ways the larger society perceives and views them. It is because others were willing to take the high road, stand up for themselves and others, that paths have been cleared. While we have come a long way on the road of tolerance and understanding, we have not yet reached the high road of equality. Though my natural tendency is to be reticent in coming 'out,' I recognize that if I fail to give voice to who I am, our children's children will continue this battle to acquire rights they should have as citizens of our nation.
THOUGHTS FOR NON-LGBT PEOPLE ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE AND CONCERNS:
Most people wrestle with many things as they try to understand themselves in the context of others. In the end, people who identify as LGBT are likely not very different than others in broad societies. You probably already know someone in your family or social circle that is grappling with concerns they are afraid to voice. Perhaps it is time to listen and grasp the full picture rather than merely judging the rightness or wrongness of a person based upon sexual orientation. Throwing stones in glass houses is likely something most of us should avoid.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Be courageous and get to know someone who identifies as LGBT. Perhaps the rainbow symbol should be worn by all people, as those 'in' and 'out' are varied colorations that influence the whole of society.
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