Dale Albanese, Ally
Senior, English Literature and International Studies
INVOLVEMENTS AT OU:
SAFEZONE member, International Student Union (Secretary 2006, Vice President 2006-2007), Green Resource Network, Chinese Student Language (President and Treasurer 2005-2006)
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE OUT or TO BE AN ALLY?
It is necessary to change this campus from one with an attitude of tolerance, where the lack of animosity towards LGBT community members makes non-LGBT feel welcoming, to one where everyone feels safe and welcomed. This involves non-LGBT community members stopping and checking themselves when they use gendered dialogue.
WHY ARE YOU “PROUD”? WHAT ARE YOU MOST “PROUD” OF?
Sexual orientation had always been a non-issue for me interms of judging and making friends, but I was fortunate enough to meet a very close friend my freshmen year who came out later that year. His silence on the issue and eventual coming out to a select group of friends, myself included, occurred only at a time when he was ready, though it was a topic of discussion amongst other friends in our hall who had pegged and labeled him for exterior reasons from the beginning. This solidified my belief that it makes no sense to use assumed sexual orientation to judge a person, but it also brought to my attention some of the issues that being an LGBT community member in a hetero-dominated culture faces, even amongst well-meaning friends. I am most “proud” that I have been fortunate and blessed enough to have seen this perspective, which allows me to consider some of the difficulties of coming out.
WHAT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART OF COMING OUT?
I don’t suppose you could place coming out as an Ally along the same lines, but one experience has been with close friends who find offensive language funny. They find a renewed sense of vigor in using words that they know contradict what I stand for, and thus force my hand to challenge that language.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS WHO COME OUT?
There is probably 5 square miles of brain matter walking around this campus, and whatever portion of that finds opposition with your lifestyle choice, there are that many more meaningful and deeper connections available with the other portion. Surround yourself with positive people.
THOUGHTS FOR NON-LGBT PEOPLE ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE AND CONCERNS:
Challenge yourself to pay attention to your dialogue and the dialogue of friends so as to notice when you use gendered and hetero-language. Take the step to break down gender distinctions whenever possible, to reveal that LGBT identities are not identifiable by shoe count or hair length. These are small personal steps, but there are many activities you can engage in to solidify your presence as an Ally, such as participating in a SAFEZONE training, joining and Ally organization, or participating in LGBT Programs Center sponsored activity. Don’t kid yourself that you’ve done your part of the bargain by “tolerating” or even “accepting” a quota of LGBT friends; saying you are tolerant and showing that you know there is a need for change are two different things.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
I would be proud to join the ranks of positive role models, LGBT members and Allies alike, who have smiled together on the ‘Faces of Pride’ poster.
